christmas time is here

it's a lot to ask of a man who would be 105 years old if alive today, but i wish bing crosby were still around. i'd like to give him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. it's the thought that counts, right? his soothing voice kept me company when i was snowed-in and lonesome. warm and fuzzy good vibes floated from the record player to my ears in that big empty house. and after years of singing those words of longing, we will have a white christmas this year.

i love the song, because it reminds me of how beautiful and enchanting the snow can be. it's been difficult to not get swept up in the frustration over the weather and treacherous road conditions. i admittedly let the secretest corner of my mouth curl into a smirk when listening to the complaints of those who can't commute to work or finish their shopping. "take a snow day, remember what it was like when you were a kid?" i think to myself. "are presents that essential to your christmas? bundle up and go outside. make snow angels, have a snowball fight, go sledding, build an igloo, make a snowman. warm up with hot chocolate, build a gingerbread house and make cut-out snowflakes. play with your kids and unleash your inner child." can you imagine? a white christmas with fun and games and crafts and warm drinks? friends and family, a lover nearby. maybe even--and this is radical--few to no presents?

the first morning we woke to snow and violet skies, i stood in that fresh powder and felt like whispering. and that hushed ecstasy is not a feeling i want to associate with the chaos that has ensued. so thank you bing crosby, for reminding me that a white christmas is not a disaster, but a gift.

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i feel like i'm in limbo. i'm at the point in my life where my friends have become my family, but we don't have any traditions yet. i've lost comfort in the traditions from my childhood, with little love loss. the traditions have either morphed or been tainted by new meanings or soured by memories of christmases past.

however, the traditional christmas specials, cheesy and ridiculous as they may be, remain the same year after year. these escapist stories have always been my refuge during the holidays. so, in that spirit, enjoy:





also, why didn't i know about this sooner?